ecognizing flirting body signals is quite easy to do for most men once they learn to observe women closely (and stop trying to make the flirting game much more complicated than it really is).
But from time to time we meet men who seem totally unable to read female facial expressions or other flirting body signals. There's a good chance you too may have observed a few incidents like this one:
- He sees an attractive girl at a party or club,
- He walks up to her and delivers an especially lame pick up line,
- She sneers at him with a clearly venomous look,
- And just so that there's no misunderstanding, she also barks loudly that "I wouldn't be caught dead with a jerk like you!!!" ...
- After which he then struts back to the table where his buddies are nursing beers, smiles confidently and announces to all present that "She wants me!"
Can some men really be that clueless?
Can they actually misread such blatantly obvious flirting body signals so badly?
We haven't done formal scientific research on this pattern, but we've had several friends like this over the years and have made numerous anecdotal observations. In many cases, they were so focused on their own unmet needs (especially their sexual needs) that they were oblivious to what others around them were feeling.
in other words, they were too horny to think about anything else
And if that wasn't the specific problem, then they were just too busy trying to think of what to say next. They weren't paying any attention to what she was saying or doing.
If either of these descriptions matches you, what can you do about it? How can you improve your skill at reading women's expressions?
Flirting body signals
and how to read them
The easiest place to start is by observing women you're not chatting up. Study their facial expressions, postures and other flirting body signals when other men chat them up.
That way, you can give the exercise your undivided attention. You don't need to:
- Plan what you should say next
- Feel nervous about "what if she reacts badly?" or
- Have your interpretation be swayed by the fact that you desperately want her reaction to be very favorable.
By "not having skin in the game" this way...
It will suddenly become easy
to be a dispassionate observer
And for each exchange you observe, try to judge the big picture: does she seem interested in him or doesn't she? And then analyze what flirting body signals she sent that prompted you to reach that conclusion.
- What was her facial expression?
- What was her posture?
- What tone of voice did she use?
- Did she use certain phrases?
- Was there any physical contact (her hand "accidentally" grazing his arm, for example)?
After you've observed a dozen or more encounters this way, you'll have seen similar patterns of flirting body signals for "interested" and similar other patterns of flirting body signals for "not interested". And at that point, you'll have learned how to "read" women.
“… she really had decided that she had zero interest in him …”
But there's one more point you need to know: there have been a few cases we've seen where he approaches her and does recognize that she looks totally disinterested ... and yet he then still strolls back and confidently announces that "She wants me!"
With further digging, we eventually uncovered that he believed that she was just playing "hard to get" each time. He believed that she was pretending not to like him and that she actually did like him.
But in every instance, she was doing no such thing. She really had decided that she had zero interest in him and she was doing her best to make that sentiment crystal clear.
Is she playing hard to get?
There are books and articles slanted toward women that advise them to play hard to get. And there are some women who take that advice to heart and actually try to play hard to get. But we've yet to see one woman who played a convincing "hard to get" act when flirting with a guy to whom she was strongly attracted. They seem to save that game for guys in whom they have no real emotional interest.
The moral of that story is: "hard to get" = "not interested". It really is that simple.
If you're looking to learn more, please take a look at additional flirting body signals advice here and also here.
And for other advice on improving your flirting game, continue to our main Flirting Tips For Men page.
If you're in a hurry, there's an even more immediate path to improving your understanding of flirting body signals. We wholeheartedly recommend Flirt Mastery to our readers as it really does deliver on its promises. You can check out our review here...
Or you can go directly to the Flirt Mastery site itself if you prefer...