The Basic Principles Of Seduction
he concept of seduction can cover a variety of situations. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "seduce" means any of the following:
- to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty
- to lead astray usually by persuasion or false promises
- to entice to sexual intercourse
Setting the mood
It's that last meaning that we'll focus on here: enticing someone into having sex with you. It's implicit in the above definitions that "sexual intercourse" is somehow a bad thing and that there's something unsavory about seduction, but we don't share those biases.
We'd also like to point out that the above definitions make no mention of gender. It's not unusual for societies (ancient as well as modern) and some feminists to think of sex as being something that men do to women, but we see that point differently also: sex is something that men and women do with each other.
And either party can be "the aggressor"... that is, the one doing the enticing.
it would seem that she made the "first" move several moves ago
Of course, women will almost always claim not to be the aggressor. But that's usually true only in a strict semantic sense as who made the "first move". And even then it's true only if you use female definitions as to what does - and doesn't - constitute an official "first move".
Why do women quibble so vehemently over that one technicality? Because maintaining the fiction of "not having made the first move" benefits them:
- By not being labeled "the aggressor", a woman can (hopefully) escape the wrath of other women who would otherwise resent and trash talk her for having competed unfairly (i.e. by being "too easy").
- By not having "made the first move", she saves face if the guy ends up not making a play for her. In other words, he didn't reject her as she hadn't made "an offer" in the first place.
- By not looking too much like an "eager seller", she's hoping to prod the guy into competing harder for her, rather than taking her for granted.
- By pretending that male attention is "unsolicited", she can turn down any (or all) offers without a twinge of guilt. This allows her to get interesting guys into bed when she spots some, but also to get a lot of ego strokes from guys she has no intention of bedding. And if she's particularly mean-spirited, she can even put them down for having "taken the bait".
The reality is that...
The seduction process consists of a
long chain of behavior
The seduction kiss
- Her spending ample time layering on makeup and getting her face "just right".
- Next she'll pick something to wear for the occasion, which is ideally an outfit that seems to say "I might be easy, but I'm making no guarantees
make your move and we'll see if you get lucky or not".
- She'll also splash on some perfume intended to make guys' heads spin.
- She'll then head somewhere where many men are likely to pass by.
- And of course she'll wait for guys to notice the cleavage she has "accidentally" left showing or the expanse of leg she has "unwittingly" left uncovered.
Only after all that will guys come up to her and make the "first" move. Hmmm... it would seem that she made the "first" move several moves ago, don't you think?
But that's the backdrop from which the "official" seduction process commences.
And what can you learn about seduction from this if you're a guy? There are several lessons
- Most women crave male attention.
- Most women enjoy having men try to chat them up (provided you're not obnoxious, of course).
- Most women need the emotional cover of pretending that they did nothing to attract that male response.
- Most women can be "picked up" by a guy, but not by all guys.
- A woman who protests that "I'm not that kind of girl!" usually means only that she is not that kind of girl with you.
If you'd like to learn more about the process of seduction (including three things not to do), about what factors come into play when women decide which offers to accept and about how to improve your odds of success while remaining a nice guy, you'll find the rest of the articles in this section to be extremely helpful.
We'll show your the parallels between job hunting and seduction, why women play games, and why you have to believe in what you're offering to her.
Do you know how to talk to women? Or why fast seduction sometimes happens? Do you understand the importance of an exit strategy? How do you handle the girls who play hard to get? And what does the Law of Large Numbers have to do with seduction?
You'll also learn the importance of
social proof and fantasy, and where to target your efforts where they'll do the most good.