Why Waste Your Time?
hat are known as platonic relationships are the romantic equivalent of holding a job but not receiving a paycheck. What's the point? They might be a good deal for the company employing you, but they're a really lousy and unfair deal for you.
You wouldn't stand for a totally one-sided employment arrangement like that, of course. But you'd be amazed at how many shy guys waste months or even years remaining in platonic relationships.
That's because shy guys tend to be very patient due to their lack of confidence around women. And women often take advantage of this trait to milk each guy for everything they can get.
“… and then one day she sits down and gives you the "friends" speech …”
The most common way that shy guys end up marooned in platonic relationships is by getting into a relationship which doesn't progress to the sexual stage. They'll patiently wait month after month or even year after year waiting for her to be "ready". But they aren't able to close the deal.
The second scenario in which many guys end up in platonic relationships is at the very end of a once-sexual relationship. You were with her for a while, your relationship with her was a physical one ... and then one day she sits down and gives you the "friends" speech.
You may have heard this one yourself: she wants to date other men and no longer wants to have a sexual relationship with you. But she cares dearly about you (or so she claims) and she wants to continue hanging out with you as "just friends".
What does that mean?
On one level, it's an insurance policy for her. If she's misjudged her own desirability in the dating market, it may turn out that she won't be able to find another guy better than (or even as good as) you are who's attracted to her. And in that case, she hasn't burned her bridges.
After all, few guys who would settle for platonic relationships would decline an offer to add sex back into the mix again.
But even more so, the "just friends" game converts you into the equivalent of that unpaid employee we mentioned earlier at the top of this page. You become "staff"
someone she can call for help when she gets into a bind or needs a favor.
“… She'll use you, if you'll tolerate it …”
She'll use you, if you'll tolerate it. We won't.
If a woman gives us the "friends" speech, we'll decline the offer to remain as "just friends". We'll say "No thanks, I've already got lots of friends. And you were never much of a friend to start with." And then we'll walk away.
And if she calls us some day at three in the morning from the bad part of town and she wants us to get up, drive 40 miles and change her flat tire for her, we have a standard reply: "Sorry
that's a boyfriend job." And then we hang up the phone.
Law firms will occasionally do pro bono work (that is, do some work for free if it's for a good cause). But we won't for ex-girlfriends: women who are all take and no give are not a "good cause".
Why squander your time, efforts, money and self-respect on platonic relationships? If you want a friend, get a dog!
Learn about the benefits of non platonic relationships to improve other aspects of your relationships with women.