Main Site Links

Recommended Product Reviews

How To Get A Girlfriend:
The Process Explained


hy are so many guys interested in learning how to get a girlfriend?

For the same reason that most guys prefer a "permanent" job rather than a series of "contract" jobs: it cuts down on the required frequency of job-hunting (or seduction) and the risk that you may go for an extended period without a paycheck (or sex).

So many guys suffer so much stress when spending time and effort looking for a new job (or getting a woman into bed) that they want to hold onto the girlfriend that they do get for as long as possible.

Accountants refer to that concept as "amortizing your investment over a long useful life".

don't forget to enjoy life while you learn how to get a girlfriend
Don't forget to enjoy
life while you learn
how to get a girlfriend

But these days, few so-called "permanent" jobs are permanent. And few girlfriends will turn out to be permanent either … loyalty is fast disappearing in the workplace and in romance. So you'll fare better if you raise the level of your game (job-hunting and dating). This includes avoiding the temptation to take her back.

That way you won't be tempted to settle for the first offer that comes your way.

If your dating focus is purely on how to get a girlfriend, you'll be likely to end up being disappointed. Why? Because courtship is a multi-step process and "girlfriend" is an intermediate step in the process.

A famous quote by Lewis Carroll (author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland) states: "Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop."

As with many things in life, this holds true in dating:

Begin at the beginning

For example, there's a reason why employers will sift through hundreds of résumés and then conduct in-depth interviews with the several most promising applicants rather than just hiring the first person to walk through their door. It takes more time and effort that way.

But they're more likely to end up getting a good match between their specific needs and what the applicant can offer them.

the benefits of learning how to get a girlfriend
The benefits of learning
how to get a girlfriend

The same logic holds for courtship: if you skip the earliest steps, you'll bypass the safeguards that come with them. You'll end up with the first woman who says "yes" to being your girlfriend. And that woman is more likely to be desperate than to be dreamy.

The English language itself should be a tip-off. If you focus on only one woman, all you can say is that she's good (if she is). If you spend a lot of time with two women, all you can say is that one is better than the other. It takes experiences with at least three women to label one as being "the best".

So if you're interested in how to get a girlfriend, start at the beginning. Women understand this (they often say that "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you'll find your prince").

Many men don't.

For guys who have some "game", the beginning is usually the seduction stage. But for shy guys, the seduction process can be intimidating. So instead they start at the dating stage (since dating in effect is just "slow-motion seduction").

They can take baby steps on the path to greater physical intimacy.

Shy guys may even consider trying to date a friend. Or they might give online dating a go.

But the key thing is to get started

Go out and start meeting women. Start approaching them. Ensure you're an attractive prospect. Go out on first dates and have fun. See how the chemistry develops (or not).

And don't limit yourself.

a checklist for how to get a girlfriend
A checklist for
how to get a

If you enjoy yourself on a date and things seem to be progressing, ask her out again. And if you're not happy with how a date went, drop her from your dating list and look for someone else to date. How to get a girlfriend really is just like hiring a new employee.

You pursue some likely prospects, evaluate their potential and decide on the one who provides the best "fit" with your specific needs.

In time, the girl whose company you're enjoying the most will end up being your girlfriend. After all, the line between "dating" and "relationships" (girlfriend) is blurry anyway. Sometimes it's explicit (when one person says something like "Let's go steady" to the other) but more often it happens by forward momentum … if you're dating the same person for a while, a relationship will be inferred.

“… Life is an adventure and dating should be too …”

That's how to get a girlfriend whom you'll actually enjoy being with. Keep an open mind, evaluate a variety of prospects and let your "gut feeling" about each of them point the way forward as you go.

Life is an adventure and dating should be too. If you're not enjoying it, then you're not doing it right. So don't focus solely on the destination … enjoy the ride!

Continue to the main Seduction page or review the other articles in this Dating section if you're looking to

learn more about how to get a girlfriend.