Main Site Links

Recommended Product Reviews

Advice On Dating A Friend:
There Are Greener Pastures


any shy guys search for advice on dating a friend because that's something they know how to find: friends.

They're the "nice guys" on whose shoulders women cry about the jerks that they're sleeping with (and then go back for more sex with the jerks). They're also the "nice guys" that women will say they like "as a friend".

So how about dating a friend? And what does "as a friend" mean in woman-speak?

It means that you do things for them but they don't do anything (especially sex) for you in return. It's like being a dog and fetching the newspaper every morning … but then having to buy your own dog food.

advice on dating a friend - don't do it
Our advice on dating
a friend? Change tactics!

It's little wonder that guys whom women claim to like "as a friend" soon look for advice on dating a friend: they're tired of being on the wrong end of a one-way arrangement. They want what "that jerk" she's grumbling about is getting. They want to get laid.

Most guys in that predicament misunderstand the nature of the situation. They think they're dealing with a matter of degree (as if they're opening a new jar of peanut butter and just a little more effort will get the top to finally budge).

If only they can do a little more for her, they reason, that might get them the rest of the way there. That's their hope but it's nearly always in vain. Sure, they might get really drunk together one night and one thing might lead to another, but that'd be a real fluke if it happens and she'll make sure that it doesn't ever happen a second time.

“… they put men into two categories: the ones they'd sleep with and …”

Most shy men don't make a distinction between "female friends they'd sleep with" and "female friends they would not sleep with". They'd sleep with all of them if it was offered. That's why they're hanging around those women … biding their time and waiting for an opportunity. They have one category.

Women think and feel differently. They put men into two categories: "the ones they'd sleep with" and "the ones they would not sleep with". If you haven't slept with her because you just met her, then you haven't been categorized yet. Play your cards right and you might score with her.

But if you've known her for a while and are hanging out with her but haven't had sex with her, that's as far as you'll be going. If a woman says that she "likes you as a friend" or that "you're like a big brother" to her, you're most definitely in the second category.

So the best advice on dating a friend is to cut your losses and move on to greener pastures. And if she protests (telling you how much she "values your friendship"), just tell her "If you want a friend, get a dog".

Read more advice on dating a friend or learn more about other aspects of dating on the main Dating page.