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How To Attract Women:
Understanding The Program


nderstanding how to attract women requires understanding their needs, tactics and strategies.

But attracting women also requires some understanding of basic human nature and how we view the world: in effect, our brains function like a computer … we process enormous amounts of raw data that stream in from our senses, analyze them, hopefully make some sense of it and then respond.

how to attract women by understanding their programming
How to attract women by
understanding their

You know how to use basic computer software (otherwise you wouldn't be viewing this site) by entering certain keystrokes (or mouse clicks) that cause the computer to perform certain operations.

You probably also know that different software applications often require different keystrokes to perform an identical operation. Why? They were programmed differently.

In a similar manner, our brains have been programmed by many millions of years of evolution and some of that basic programming dates back to early and primitive forms of animal life.

Let's illustrate with an example: fishing.

When you go fishing,
what do you put on the hook?

Your favorite food (e.g. a cheeseburger) ... or something the fish might like?

You'll use worms instead of cheeseburgers, of course, because that's what fish like to eat.

What's more: would you jump in the water and eagerly paddle after a fish while trying to stuff the hook into its mouth? Of course not … instead of chasing each fish, you instead drop your baited hook into the water near the fish … and then very slowly pull it away from your quarry.

Doing it that way takes advantage of logic that was programmed into nervous systems: something coming toward you might be a predator (i.e. something to be escaped from) but something moving away from you might be prey (i.e. a potential meal worth chasing).

That's why dogs chase after cars: because the cars are moving away from them. It's instinctive.

Humans have evolved similar (but more subtle) reflexes. We don't chase cars, of course, but if you see someone you don't know heading toward you with a big smile, do you move toward them?

“… human brains (female ones included) retain that same primitive programming …”

Probably not. You'll guess that perhaps it's a salesman trying to corner you and we don't like to be cornered (any more than animals do). That's one reason why one of the basic rules for how to attract women is "Don't try so hard". Human brains (female ones included) retain that same primitive programming. If someone comes strongly toward us, it triggers our urge to escape.

However, excelling in how to attract women also requires mastering more the subtle ways in which female brains have been wired. Males and females have different reproductive strategies, primarily because males are physically capable of impregnating a large number of women. We're less selective about women we sleep with than women are about men they sleep with.

So let's look at software
applications again

how to attract women who are receptive
How to attract women
who are receptive

Excel and Lotus 1-2-3 are spreadsheet programs and each can do pretty much the same things. However, some of the keystroke combinations you use to get Excel to perform a certain operation are different from those used to get Lotus 1-2-3 to perform an identical operation. Although they use the same basic logic, you still need slightly different programming and different keystrokes to get each program to do what you want.

Understanding how to attract women works very similarly, since male and female brains also have fundamentally similar basic logic but slightly different programming and therefore different "keystrokes" are needed to get the results you want (especially in matters of sex).

Let's focus on how women have been programmed:

  • Women are usually quite insecure
  • Women often have very fragile egos
  • Women have had it drummed into them from early on that men will jump anything in a skirt

To understand how to attract women, therefore, realize that it's awkward for women when men don't try to hit on them. After all, if men will jump on anything female and yet a man doesn't make a move on her, then she must be really undesirable!

Therefore women rationalize
to protect their egos

If a particular man doesn't try to hit on her, she can interpret this in one of three ways:

  • He didn't see her (but he would have tried to hit on her if he had seen her)
  • He did see her, but was too shy to approach her (but he would have tried to hit on her if he had been less shy)
  • He did see her and he's not too shy (in which case, she simply didn't appeal to him)

The first two possibilities leave her ego intact but the third puts a dent in her self-esteem … a big enough dent that she'll be motivated to change your mind.

Therefore, here's how many guys who are skilled at how to attract women do it:

  • Be friendly to several of the women present (to demonstrate their lack of shyness)
  • Chat with her briefly (to demonstrate that they noticed her)
  • Move on to someone else (to demonstrate that she seemed "okay" but they were not convinced that she quite lives up to their standards)

“… and that then triggers the competitive instincts programmed into female brains …”

Now the ball's in her court to salvage her pride. The guys who know how to attract women will show only modest interest in her but are also somewhat friendly to some of the other girls. And that then triggers the competitive instincts programmed into female brains (to compete vigorously with other women for the best men).

Learn what to say during these short "bait-setting" conversations and how to tell when it's time to move on.

Or continue to our main Dating page for further information on

how to attract women or how to attract girls.