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Some Useful Flirting Lines
any men put considerable time and effort into developing a list of possible flirting lines to use. With what's effectively a "script" (after eventually deciding upon what to say when flirting), they hope to be a bit less tongue-tied when the time comes to say hello.
And while that approach may increase their confidence a bit when going into a flirting situation, it rarely works very well once flirting is underway.
Good strategies for flirting lines
If you've actually tried this, you've most likely experienced the following situation: for one thing, she won't be following the same script as the one you've laboriously memorized. And your prepared lines won't correspond to what she ends up actually saying to you.
- When that happens, you might deliver those pre-planned lines anyway, but that will be a turn-off as it will seem that you're not listening to her.
- Or you'll go back to ad libbing, which is what you would have been doing anyway had you not scripted your flirting comments in advance.
But either way, what you planned ahead of time won't get the job done for you very often (if at all).
Knowing what to say when
flirting is less important than
knowing what not to say
Here are a few of the most obvious topics to avoid:
- Don't bring up other women (e.g. your past girl-friends, your three ex-wives, the cute girl in your office or your inflatable doll collection). She doesn't want to hear how great you think her competition looks or acts.
- Don't talk about what's wrong with you (e.g. your frequent bouts of depression, your inability to hold a job, your $358,000 in debts or your being "a mean drunk"). This most definitely includes any problems you've been having with past or previous women in your life.
- Don't talk about what's wrong with her (e.g. don't mention the gap between her two front teeth or her nose being a bit crooked, or ask "When is the baby due?" if she's a bit chubby). Even light-hearted negative comments will count heavily against you.
- Don't be overtly sexual (e.g. don't ask her about her body, sex acts or anything of that nature). It might work in X-rated videos, but it's not going to happen in real life.
And on what to say when flirting, the old expression "well begun is half done" would apply. You won't need many flirting lines ready, but it's useful to have a few prepared comments on hand to get the ball rolling. (N.B. that's comments, NOT pick up lines, just to make things clear!) After that, it works best to play things by ear.
In that sense, flirting works
similarly to team sports
If you're on a football team as one of the defensive backfield players, you'll know where you should be lining up. And you'll also have worked out in advance how to initially respond to the more common plays that offenses call.
But once the play is underway, you'll quickly modify your behavior based on what the offensive team actually does, and you'll continue to modify it as the play progresses. You'll keep your eye on the ball, notice where each of the other players is positioned on the field, what sort of play is in progress and so on.
“…the best way to approach it is to have some opening flirting lines prepared… ”
The same logic applies to flirting. Because flirting is a dynamic process rather than a static one, the best way to approach it is to have some opening flirting lines prepared, and then respond to the situation as it unfolds.
We've found the best opening flirting lines come in two categories:
- One of the simple pleasantries that we all use in everyday life, or
- An observational comment about the situation at hand or about her.
The simple pleasantries include phrases such as "Good morning", "How are you doing?" or "How's it going?", but even the simplest one of all ("Hi") can work surprisingly well as an opening flirting line.
A lot of guys use a variation in which they give their name ("Hi, my name is Fred" or "Hi, I'm Fred") as their opening flirting line, but we get better results if we don't take that approach. Instead, we wait until after we've been chatting for a minute or two. Then if things are progressing well, we'll mention "Oh, by the way
my name's Fred" (as if it's an afterthought).
However, if she volunteers her name before we get to that point, then we'll respond in kind.
The other good opening
flirting lines are observational
Flirting lines are better
than pick up lines
They can be about the situation (e.g. the weather or the flight delay that was just announced) if the opportunity arises. But we're partial to making observational comments about the woman herself if we spot something interesting about her.
For example, suppose she's wearing an unusual pair of earrings. We'll:
- Walk by her as if we're not really paying attention to her,
- Look at her face with our peripheral vision as we're passing her,
- Get a step or two past her,
- Stop and come back a step or two,
- Look directly at her earrings for a second or two, and
- Then smile approvingly and say "Wow
cool earrings! Did you make those?"
That's usually all it takes to get things started. The meeting will seem spontaneous to her and that works best with women.
As for further tips on what to say when flirting, we strongly recommend avoiding pick up lines and anything you've seen in a movie when meeting women.
And if you're looking to learn more about improving your flirting game, please continue to the main Flirting Tips For Men page for aspects of flirting other than flirting lines.
But there's an more immediate path to applying spontaneous flirting lines if you want to cut right to the chase. We wholeheartedly recommend Flirt Mastery to our readers. You can check out our review here...
Or you can go directly to the Flirt Mastery site itself if you prefer...