Seduction Tactics To Know:
Avoid Excessive Compliments
f all the seduction tactics that are recommended by well-meaning people to guys looking to improve their seduction game, the one recommended most often is this one: "Compliment her like crazy!"
Here's the logic behind that advice: women are thought to be highly insecure and therefore they'll appreciate your telling them how great they are
the more often, the better. Conventional wisdom holds that you'll get farther with a woman by making her feel good about herself than by getting her to feel good about you.
complimenting a woman profusely is one of the least productive seduction techniques
So guys who lack confidence with girls often pull out all the stops. They'll lob compliment after compliment at a woman they're trying to seduce, pausing only briefly to come up for air.
How good is that strategy? Not very. Complimenting a woman profusely is one of the least productive seduction techniques. An occasional compliment is fine (if done right), but this is the easiest of the seduction tactics to overdo.
And the shyer and less-experienced the guy is, the more likely that he will overdo the compliments. That's because
- It's the easiest of all seduction tactics for a novice to try
- To guys who don't understand how women think and react, it seems like it should work
- There are endless variations to compliments that can be invented, so guys who would otherwise be tongue-tied with women are less likely to "run out of material" quickly
Here's why such tactics don't work:
Because lathering on compliments is the most overused of the seduction tactics, women you try to seduce with that approach will have experienced it countless times.
Good seduction tactics
mean not boring her
It will therefore have no impact. It will bore them. People value things which are scarce, so it's a tactical error to "debase the currency" by over-complimenting a woman.
And so over-complimenting has become a reliable marker for the least desirable guys. You'll hurt rather than help your odds of success this way.
Does this mean that women aren't really insecure? Not at all
most are. But they aren't naïve.
Let's suppose you're a girl
who's at best only average
Perhaps you're 20 pounds overweight (which to you will look more like 60 pounds overweight when you look in the mirror, as women mentally magnify imperfections in themselves).
A hopeful guy comes up, tells you that you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, then asks "Are you a super-model?"
How would you respond to that compliment (a.k.a. a pick up line) if you were her? Here are a couple of possibilities
- Feel an overwhelming urge to get him into bed as soon as possible for showing you the error of your ways? After all, that roll of fat you can see hanging over your belt doesn't really exist
it's all in your imagination.
- Think to yourself "Oh swell, another dorky guy trying to get into my pants by giving phony compliments
does he really think I'm that stupid? I've got eyes!"
You'd jump to the second conclusion every time. And so will she.
Does that mean you should
never compliment a woman?
Not at all. The key is to give compliments both sparingly and honestly.
We've talked about "sparingly" already
what about "honestly"?
Women know if your complements are insincere (as in the above example). In fact, even a truly beautiful woman looks much less good to herself when she looks in the mirror, so complimenting her looks will always seem insincere to her. After all, your evaluation won't match up to her own.
So the better approach is to compliment something other than her physical appearance and to pick something about her that you really do consider to be excellent.
The safest approach (for guys who are still unskilled in seduction tactics) is to compliment her about an accessory (such as "Hey, cool earrings!"
but only if they really do look cool).
safest approach (for guys who are still unskilled in seduction tactics) is to compliment her about an accessory
But even there, it works best if you can make it seem that the compliment was spontaneous and sincere rather than preplanned as part of your "sales pitch". We do this by stopping in mid-sentence and looking over at one ear (if complimenting her earrings) as if we'd just noticed them. We'll then look at the earring for a couple of seconds (as if studying it), say "Wow, cool earrings!" and then go back to what we had been saying before.
We expand on this type of approach a bit more in our
flirting lines article, or to otherwise learn more seduction tactics, continue to the main Seduction page.