Flirting With Women:
Four Responses You're
Likely To Get
uys who are terrified by the prospect of flirting with women are usually less worried about what they'll say to her than about how she'll react. They focus on the downside risk.
Will she "bite his head off"? Or worse?
And is that level of fear warranted?
Flirting with women
who want you
Unless you're planning to flirt with a Mafia don's wife (and to do it in his presence), absolutely not. Your ego may take a bit of a bruising, but that's survivable. And you can usually minimize any such bruising if you adopt the right mental perspective.
Let's explore those possibilities by examining in more detail the scenario and responses we've used in another of our flirting articles. In that example, you chatted up a girl and told her that you have every James Bond movie on DVD.
Here are some possible responses
she might make to this statement:
Response #1: "What a sexist movie series! Every James Bond has been a male chauvinist pig!"
Response #2: "Only a real loser would want to watch that crap!"
Response #3: "I like the exotic locations they pick for the James Bond movies."
Response #4: "Wow, I love James Bond movies! Maybe if you have a free evening some time, I could come over and cook you a nice dinner. And after dinner, we can watch a couple of the movies together."
In your "nightmare scenario" file, you'd probably include the first two responses here. The prospect of getting a scathing retort like either of those is what causes you to freeze up when you contemplate flirting with women.
But how likely would you be to get
either one of those responses?
As it turns out, the first response is actually quite rare when flirting with women. Certainly there are more than a few rabid feminists in America (and elsewhere in the Western world), and they'd be delighted to rant and rave at you this way if given the opportunity.
But the odds of your wanting to flirt with one of them will be close to negligible. Unless you're a real glutton for punishment, we're guessing that you don't often feel motivated to chat up strange women who are devoid of feminine charm, may have hair shorter than yours, wear an "Attila the Hun" scowl and glare at you with utter contempt as you're approaching them.
To put it as politely as possible, that's a woman who has "issues". She's lashing out blindly. And we'd be surprised if you ever run into this situation unless you're quite inebriated or just gate-crashed a feminist organization meeting. Or both.
Flirting with women like
these ones? No thanks ...
Now the second response is more common than the first, but it's much more likely in certain settings and situations. Therefore, you can minimize the chances of encountering this type of response by picking lower-risk settings and situations. Here are some examples:
- Discos are notorious for being tough places for an average (or shy) guy to chat up new women. Therefore, they're best avoided when flirting with women unless you look like a Greek god, you're prosperous and you've "got game".
- You're also quite a bit more likely to get this sort of hostile response if you approach her using a pick up line. That's because women tend to consider pick up lines an insult to their intelligence (i.e. that you'd actually think they'd be stupid enough to fall for such a lame approach), and they'll often reflexively insult you right back.
- You're more likely to get this sort of hostile response if you try to chat up a woman who's sitting with some of her female friends than if you were to approach the same person when she's sitting alone. That's because she'll want to impress her friends that she has "high standards" and is used to being approached by much hotter guys.
- And you're also likely to get a hostile response if you approach a woman far above your level (in terms of relative desirability to the opposite sex). The reason is that this can also be misperceived as an insult to her. (In her mind, you didn't think she looked all that hot and therefore thought that she was at your level). If you're shy or intimidated, the way to minimize this happening is to start by flirting with women who are more average and then (after you've developed thicker skin) progress your way up to hotter women.
But assuming that you're not totally geeky and haven't used a pick up line (even one that's supposedly funny or romantic) ...
The third response is the most
likely of the four to happen
Flirting with women
like this one
When she claims that she likes some aspect of the James Bond movie series ("exotic locations" as in our example), that's her way of encouraging you to keep the conversation going by subtly implying that you and she are "kindred spirits".
That seems counter-intuitive to most shy guys, as women tend to be very selective in picking their bedroom partners.
However, women are far more promiscuous when flirting than when picking bed-mates.
If she's got nothing to do at the moment, you seem like a halfway decent fellow and you find her attractive enough that you want to chat her up, that's good for her ego and breaks up the boredom for her. And therefore the chances are quite good that she'll help to keep the conversation going for a few minutes this way.
Of course the fourth response (full-on female seduction mode) is the best one of all to get, but unfortunately that one happens infrequently unless you're handsome, rich and/or famous. But it can still happen, even to a shy guy.
“… the fourth response (full-on female seduction mode) is the best one of all to get …”
Sometimes it's chemistry: there's something about you that just happened to click with her. But more often there are external factors that come into play when flirting with women.
For example, she may have walked in on her boyfriend with another woman and she's now very angry at him. Angry enough to want revenge. And what better way to get revenge on a guy she's dating?
That's an easy one: sleep with another man. In a scenario like that, there's a good chance that she'll go to bed with the next halfway decent guy she meets.
And that might be you
If it happens, enjoy the experience: "revenge sex" is even better than "make up sex". You'll get her "A" game.
We'll discuss scenarios like that more fully in our Seduction section.
But for now let's return to our main theme, which is that there's not really anything to be afraid of when flirting with women. Even if a woman bites your head off (verbally), that's hardly much of a reflection on you as she barely knows you at that point. So just remind yourself that she's the one with issues. And then shrug and move on.
Be sure to check out the rest of our Flirting Tips For Guys section which includes additional tips on flirting with women and other advice to improve your skills and confidence with the opposite sex.
And we also wholeheartedly recommend Flirt Mastery to our readers. Unlike a lot of overpriced garbage out there, this product actually delivers on its promises. You can check out our review here...
Or you can go directly to the Flirt Mastery site itself if you prefer...